EXISTENTIALLY ALONE

Lost into spaces,
Silent grimaces,
Disappeared, no traces...

Something for which I pine,
Something that I stole from time,
Something I thought I would make mine...

Of earth and earthy, Striving for the stars,
Jaded and full of scars,
Venusian I was, he was Mars...

Extracting fragments from moments,
Efforts to build dreams from ailments,
Finding hope in size of pigments...

Companionship is an illusion,
Self biased delusion,
Turmoiled self's distorted perception...

Into deeper knowledge I delve,
Seeking completion and help,
To realize that the real resources in life lies within the self...

To comprehend the supreme truth and its dawn,
To not cry for whats gone,

EVERY HUMAN ON EARTH IS EXISTENTIALLY ALONE !

THE FLIGHT HIGHER UP

The higher up I rose,
The deeper I sank,
Feelings drowned me,
Felt like a divine prank...

On one of those clouds I want to sit and float,
Look there, on the horizon I see God's abode...

The infinity of the divinity made everything seem so insignificant,
A feeling that was so incessant...

All my pride went in vain,
So less I know was the cause of my pain...

Sense of greatness is what I always sought,
Not knowing how beautiful it is to be small like a dot...

As a seeker of knowledge I felt so ignorant,
Surge to comprehend the magnanimous divine alchemy was rampant...

I knew I was somewhere far,
The view down earth was bizarre...

It bothered me too much not to care,
The meaninglessness of everything on earth got gradually bare...

Too incapacitated to decipher the divine intention,
We mortals are less foresighted and prone to deception... 

Upon this realization came surrender exclusively liberating,
From the ignorance so excruciating...

The enlightened new me, many things could see,
See the divine vision that sets one free..

Too earthy and mortal to comprehend the divine and his mysterious ways,
HIS infinite visions are the ones that make my days...

The higher up I rose,
The deeper I sank,
Feelings drowned me,
Felt like a divine prank...

WITHOUT YOU

Sometimes I miss you like the desert misses the rain. It’s one of those times now when existence seems so meaningless without you. The hours haunt me and don’t let me escape, turning me into a restless puppet at the hands of destiny.

All I do is watch the clock ticking second by second alarming me of the passing time that I lose without you. My over indulgence in the causes, the reasons, the ‘why’s’ lead me to a non-conclusive conclusion, circumlocuting into a vicious spiral. The more I delve, the greater I get sucked into the spiral unable to return to normalcy, a numb zone.

I was never able to tell myself how much I loved you. Every time I tried to quantify it just amplified! Unrequited though it was but it made me feel alive. Lies, deception and rejection though it was, it made me feel at home. And now I thrive on a barren land often gazing into the mighty space trying to figure out the directions. You are like those impossible breaths that I can’t stop from breathing, the moment I stop, I know I would die.

Discomforting the way you are, arouses fear of abandonment within me. You are my worst nightmare. When you were gone, I realized that sometimes our biggest dreams are contained within our worst nightmares and sometimes home is not that comforting. Yet with you was an imperfect peaceful alliance like two disharmonious cords making rhythm together.

You are the only thing that beckons me and I so wish were close, yet I chose to walk away and you chose to let me go. In you something devastative I fear, that  sends me into years of seclusion seeking the comfort of loving you in silence. I will be back to relive those times spent with you, every year this day, in my memories.  And now I don’t cry because you are gone, I smile because you happened, to bring out infinite love in me within the finite possibilities.

MY LOVE TO YOU, I BEQUEATH,

FOR EVERY WITHOUT IS FOLLOWED BY A WITH…

ENGRAVE

Amidst the most certain things that ditched,

You were the most uncertain thing that persevered,

And I got hitched…

My belief in love as an act of persistence,

Brought about this consistence,

Through my need of succurance…

I have died a thousand deaths in your love,

I can die a thousand more,

But to my remorse,

Neither could those thousand change you, nor will a thousand more…

Your lies paved my grave,

And I ran into it in search of hope,

I was desperate they say,

But you see, I was brave…

Brave to stand on my grave,

Against all odds to break the codes,

To believe in things you made invisible,

To let you know my spirit is incorrigible…

The realisation that I no longer need your love,

Made my way to eternity’s hub,

Time ends for those who need love,

But for those who love, it lasts forever,

A truth that no mortal force can shove…

One day when the sun be above the horizon, the dust of fear shall settle,

And your eyes more able,

Shall make your heart walk to my grave,

Covered by flowers of longing and crave,

You shall still find me,

In these words that I ENGRAVE…

WRITER'S RETREAT

For every writer in love, their beloved is a Deity,
And writing, an institution of worship,
For the beloved finds eternity in their sacred words, beyond the principle of time...

Holding the pen is like identifying the beloved's presence,
Writing is like making love to them,
Fueled by desire to write, like passion on fire,
Publishing like love manifest !

UNSAID

There were so many things I couldn’t say,

You turned your back and walked away…

Even in your absence,

Things made sense…

And after much rumination there was illumination and I could know the reason why,

It was the love you had accidentally passed me by…

And now till forever…

As the sun sets, you rise in my heart, and it’s just the start…

Of a journey to my land of dreams, beyond the realms…

Where I meet you every day,

And the moon can vouch,

It was just meant to be this way…

You can give me million reasons,

Change time and tide,

But you can’t stop my heart that’s on your love ride…

And every day my memories from your heart you try to bream,

Just take a chance and let me in,

And I will show you how to dream…

There were no lies between you and me,

Through each other we could see,

The beautiful world that is meant to be…

You said nothing of what you knew,

The secrets of your heart were not few,

Yet something in you I could feel,

The careless gestures of love that you tried to conceal…

Is there no love in your heart for me?

You have closed your eyes,

You just don’t want to see…

Undercurrents don’t arise without reason,

Neither does the heart dance to unknown signs,

The clouds are pregnant,

Let the dessert receive its first rain…

Don’t complicate it,

Together it could be a perfect fit,

And trust me we can make it….

I have been patient,

But my faith is on a sway,

Don’t let it go away,

Am giving up day by day,

And we know it was not meant to end this way…

JADE

Resting spaces and unseen grimaces,

Known words and unknown silences,

Visible deception and hidden faces,

Camouflage vision and reality has no traces...

The heart always sees its desire,

Foolish it is to ignore what is bizarre,

Bonded to self defeating fragments of wire,

Burning painfully in a self created fire...

Losing thyself I thought I found you,

I lost self and your presence had no clue,

Hope made me stick to your thoughts like a glue,

Very late did I realize it was a process of self sue...

Words hurt and scar more than you think,

I was torn apart in an eyes blink,

I once connected and in your love I sink,

Surprisingly now I don’t find the link...

Chiseled are my feelings and nothing left to preserve,

As I observe,

Your words painfully resonate from its conserve,

I have let you hurt me more than I deserve...

May be tomorrow I will live the words you said,

My heart is Red,

I will let go off your hurtful love for which I was not made,

A gem but a stone, your heart is a Jade...